Time and time again players, coaches, and clients ask for help in developing self-belief. Self-belief is often framed up as ‘self-confidence’ and ‘self-esteem.’ It is a key area in sports training and mental health recovery and strengthening
“Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behavior. Keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny.”― Gandhi
We are all chasing happiness is some form. Be it in the form of money, health, fame, love….We all live with the misconception that happiness can be achieved by possession of the things we hold so dear to our heart. Is that really true??
One of my favorite comedians and actor Jim Carrey rightly said “I hope everybody could get rich and famous and will have everything they ever dreamed of, so they will know that its not the answer.”
The happiness we seek stems forth from within. Within where your thoughts lay. Within where your feelings rest. Your mind and your heart is the within where true happiness resides.
So why aren’t we happy then? If its that simple, if its right Within us, how come we are all still chasing it..happiness I mean?
It all boils down to ONE single thought.
Ever notice how when something ‘not so happy’ is happening in your life, your heart and mind automatically go to the worse case scenario. That is the root cause of all unhappiness. That single starting point where the negative thinking spiral starts…that’s where we need to nip it in the bud.
Here is ‘HOW to Boost Your Happiness with Positive Thinking’ and nip that negative thinking in the bud :
You and only YOU can boost your happiness by focusing on positive things and reducing your negative thinking. You can do it with practice: Simply, by following a negative thought with a positive one. This practice will help to retrain your habitually negative thought patterns to bring more positive thoughts to your life.
Ratios especially the ratio of positive to negative thoughts is a major factor in our overall happiness. Our brains are constantly monitoring the emotional tone of our thoughts – too many negative thoughts and our brain responds by creating stress and sadness in our body. When we add more positive thoughts, our brain will create relaxation and happiness. By training yourself to follow (or dismiss) negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll improve your positive/negative thought ratio and be happier.
Now, How do you stay motivated to Stay Positive?
After you’re aware of your negative thoughts and feelings and work to counteract them for a few days, they will gradually begin to lessen. You’ll be able to concentrate more on what you want to do without experiencing distracting emotions and stress. This will make you more productive and energetic. And best of all, it will make you happier.
Step 1 – Start by Listing Happy Thoughts:
Start by taking about 15 minutes and list all the happy thoughts you can think of. Just use a piece of paper and make a long list, give it a good 15-30 minutes. List people and places that make you happy – good friends, favorite vacation spots, childhood memories and more. List things that make you happy – puppies, babies, the smell of a new car, a favorite dinner, a day off relaxing by a pool. List(happy list) anything and everything you can think of that makes you happy.
Step 2 – Awareness of Negative Thoughts & Feelings:
Just for this week, commit to pay attention to your thoughts. Whenever you catch yourself thinking about or feeling anything negative, sad or stressful, label that thought “unhappy.” Don’t worry if you have a lot of unhappy thoughts and feelings throughout the day, that is perfectly normal. Just pay attention and label them.
Step 3 – Instantly Follow With a Happy Item:
After you label an unhappy thought or feeling, follow it immediately with a happy item from your Happy List. You might pick one item to use all day long, or choose different ones each time you need them. Just bring that happy thing to mind for a second or two.
Step 4 – Smile SO much:
Whenever a negative thoughts comes up, replace it with a happy item from the list, but don’t forget to smile while doing so. A smile makes your mind calmer and every negative thought seem less stressful.
Step 5 – Make your personal Commitment to think positive:
Positively Affirm everyday(especially when those negative thoughts and feelings strike) by saying this to yourself : I will flip my negative/stressful thoughts and feelings and follow them with a happy thought.
Some special tips:
- Please don’t judge yourself. We all have lots of unhappy and negative thoughts throughout the day. As you become more aware of them you might feel embarrassed or ashamed about how many you have. Don’t worry, it is perfectly normal to have all sorts of strange thoughts – we usually don’t pay so much attention to them.
- Force a smile on your face as you bring your happy thought to your mind. This will help erase the effects of the negative thoughts.
- As a few days pass, the vast number of negative thoughts and feelings often decrease. As if the brain gets bored being negative, because you replace the thoughts so quickly(and happily) with positive ones.
- Make sure to remind yourself to do this task throughout the day. Don’t let a day go by without engaging with your negative thoughts and substituting positive ones.
Will you be waiting for negative thoughts to come along to think something positive? Add to this skill by making a conscious and planned effort to think positive thoughts throughout the day. Decide that you will think only positive thoughts for your entire lunch hour or during one of your breaks. Decide that you will only think positive thoughts while driving in your car or while riding the train/bus. Create times in your day when you will be “positive only”. This will give you even more practice at being positive and happy.
My question to you: How do YOU boost your happiness on a daily basis? Have you tried thinking positively on a conscious level everyday? Share your thoughts, questions and wisdom in the comments below. I’d love to read what you think.
Thank you SO much for reading! If this article touched your heart, please share it on your favorite social networks. Every share, like or tweet makes me reach more people who need a positive healing nudge in their lives. I appreciate you! And, If you’re new, please subscribe for free updates by email. Love always, ~Zeenat~
How do you know if a person is willing to attain self improvement? This is a question with no definite answer. It will all depend on the individual.
Many people have goals, dreams or ambitions but do not know how to go about achieving them. They may have thought about what would make up self improvement and their ideal life, but have no idea how to even begin to make the plans and take the actions required to make them a reality.
Some people have a vague idea on how to go about self improvement. These are the ones that believe that if only they had a better job, or had been given better opportunities, or met the love of their life, or whatever else, everything would be fine and they would be happy.
They feel that their happiness or lack of happiness is decided by external factors and their thoughts and actions are of little consequence.
Some believe that if only they had more money they could have whatever they want and be on their way to self improvement.
They may have spent little time thinking about what they actually want from life, and do not really believe there is anything they can do to create their fuzzy version of utopia anyway, apart from buying more lottery tickets.
Other people do not even know what they actually want from their lives and may even have little idea what would really makes them happy. They seem to just drift from day to day, week to week, month to month, and year to year, and do little more than just about get by.
They may have seemingly secure jobs and be earning enough to live relatively comfortable lives. They seem happy enough and have no great ambition to achieve anything more from their lives than they currently have.
Is self improvement important?
The reality is that throughout our lives we are all constantly growing and developing. Circumstances make us grow and develop, even if we do not make the conscious decision to do so.
Up to a certain age, we learn through formal education and we continue to learn through our experiences for the rest of our lives. We have to learn and grow to deal with everything that life throws at us. We all have to go through self improvement.
Modern life moves at a dramatically faster pace than at anytime in history. For anyone living in modern society there are more opportunities to do anything that you want to do with your life than ever before.
But there is also more competition than ever before, and ever changing technology means that there really are few, if any ‘jobs for life’ anymore. It is now normal not only to change jobs quite often throughout our working lives, but even to completely change careers and industries.
Because the workplace is so competitive, people who are ambitious and hungry for success know they need to learn new skills and knowledge to keep ahead of the pack. To attain this, self improvement is needed.
These are the people that will be most likely to keep their jobs, or progress within their chosen field, or that will be readily employable in different organizations or industries.
A commitment to self improvement and personal growth may well be the deciding factor in how anyone’s future will turn out.
Why is self-confidence so important? It is important because it gives you courage, self-esteem and assertiveness. When self-confidence is present, you are not afraid to take risks and to try new things.
Self-confidence is essential for a happy and successful life and is a quality of character that most people appreciate, when they see it in other people.
When you possess self-confidence, you do not allow what people think and say about you to affect you, and you don’t take things too personally. This means a more peaceful life.
Most people are not born with this quality of character. However, you can build it up. You can build self-confidence by changing your mindset and your attitude toward life, even if various personal experiences caused you to lose it.
How to Build Self-Confidence
I would like to suggest a few simple tips to help you build self-confidence.
1. Think about what you have already done in your life
Even if you experienced failure and unhappiness in your life, there certainly are a few achievements. These need not be great achievements, but quite simple things, like getting good grades at school or college, promotion at work, getting along well with your neighbors, getting your driving license, or learning to swim.
Thinking about those achievements makes you realize that you have experienced success in your life, and not all is failure. This would make you feel better about yourself and about your life, and improve your self-confidence.
2. Focus on what you did and achieved, not on what you did not do and did not achieve
Why fill your mind with scenarios of failure? If you keep thinking about failure, you expect and anticipate it and attract it to you, and this further spoils your sense of self-confidence. Replace the negative movie in your mind with a movie about success. See yourself in your mind where you really want to be, living the life you really want.
If you can keep watching a movie of success in your mind, you will attract success. This process would build up your self-confidence.
3. Write down a list of your achievements and success
Take another step toward building your self-confidence and write down a list of your achievements and success, and at look at this list often.
You might say that you have never experienced success. You are wrong about that. You might have not experienced great success, but you surely had, even if only occasionally, experienced some kind of success. Even baking a good cake, being in good relations with your spouse or children, or going for a walk almost every day is success.
4. Think of your talents and abilities
Set a time each day to think about your talents and abilities, and find ways to develop and use them. Do not say that you have no talents and skills. Everyone has some. You just need to find them.
5. Strengthen your willpower
Lack of self-confidence goes hand in hand with lack of willpower. If you strengthen your willpower, your self-confidence would grow strong too. I have written a lot about willpower in many articles, and offered a few exercises to strengthen it. I have also written a book about it, so there is no need to go deeper into this topic here.
6. Set small, simple goals
Set small, simple goals that are within you reach and go achieve them. This will greatly boost your confidence. I am talking about really small goals, such as cleaning and arranging your wardrobe, inviting friends to your house, starting to learn swimming, or taking a day off and having fun.
These small acts will make you feel better about yourself and increase your self-confidence.
7. Develop a positive attitude
Remove from your mind all negative words and do not use them in your conversation.
Instead of focusing on negative events and expecting the worse, make the effort to focus on the positive and expect positive outcome. This might not be easy if your mindset has always been negative, but with persistence, you can change it. You will find plenty of information about positive thinking at this website.
8. Give yourself motivational talks
Remove any negative commentary running in your mind. Be firm and do not allow negative comments about you and about your life to run in your mind. You need to be more aware of what is going on in your mind and not allow negative comments and negative inner conversations to go on.
These tips will help you build your self-confidence. In some case, you might need more than these tips. Sometimes, if there is extreme lack of confidence, you might need to seek professional help, like a counsellor or a psychologist, who might help you find the problem to the lack of self-confidence and offer you ways to help you build it up.
Remez Sasson is the founder of Success Consciousness. He is the author of articles and books, teaching how to use one’s mental tools and inner powers to create a life of happiness, success, fulfillment and inner peace.