Relationships of all kinds are often perceived as very delicate things, that require extra effort to maintain.
However, a relationship can also be something that can provide security and can also be long lasting despite many trials.
Building an effective and lasting relationships is a necessity for several reasons. For example in a group or organization, the well being of the people depends on how efficient and effective that group or organization works.
The group or organization is also dependent on how the members work well with the management.
An ineffective group or organization can really be very frustrating. An effective group or organization can also ask so much on their members, that sometimes the members would be having no life outside the walls of the area where they work or sacrifice the other aspects of their life just to meet deadlines. For an organization or group with this kind of scenario, relationships can be stressed or suffer from breakdown.
People or other entities who depend on these groups or organization also suffer.
Society is defined as a web of relationships, which requires all parties to work and contribute their share in order to achieve a common goal. Having a relationship that is good, where cooperation and respect are manifested, can make society work better. In this way each member works for the good of the whole and towards achieving a common goal. This can only be attained with effective and efficient relationships.
Understanding the other parties’ feeling and position creates an effective and efficient relationship.
The easiest method to understand what is important to another party is to ask them what they want and listen to what they have to say. When the other party realizes this, they would feel the importance given to them
Effective and efficient relationships require parties to openly express their feelings and positions on all matters pertinent on the relationship. Assuming that the other party understands our needs and give us when we need it without asking for it is not a good practice.
Respect is the key to relationship.
In order to create a more effective relationship, parties should treat each other with respect. We can show respect just by listening to the other party and by trying sincerely to understand how they function. You can also show respect to other parties by confirming that they are doing everything they can.
The opposite of respect is quick forming of judgements based on unfounded facts and prejudice.
Respect is the very foundation for a great relationship.
This also means respecting yourself and respecting others.
Another key area in forming an effective relationship is to tackle differences of the other party directly. Differences between parties or people are quite interesting. For example in a conversation where each party listens to the other party, you may observe that each is having two different perspectives.
Work towards a win-win solution for both parties.
This can be done when at least one party acknowledges that the relationship is important. That party would then exert more time, effort and energy to understand the other party’s needs and deal with it to get it out of the way. Should they fail, it is comforting for that party to know that they tried.
Effectively listening and no pre-judging. This is important if parties are to understand each other.
Informal discussions are conducive for parties. They bring out issues and concerns comfortably. They also feel more relaxed making them think more clearly.
Developing an atmosphere where the other party can express their feelings when they need to.
When parties fail to express whatever is on their mind or their feelings, it can get in the way of building an effective relationship.
Parties should be aware that certain things exist naturally but should be controlled in any dealings in any relationship. Human nature is one. Some of these things found in a relationship also include a history of stereotyping or mistrust, blaming the other person or party for a strained relationship, excluding the other party’s feelings when focusing on a task, no clear and defined objectives, roles and expectations of each party in a relationship is also unclear.
Relationships are important to anyone, addressing issues and problems right away is a must to further improve the relationship. As they say ‘No man is an Island’.
Is your goal taking longer than you thought?
Are you feeling frustrated and on the verge to give up due to your lack of results?
If so, read on. In this article I share with you five tips that will help you achieve your goals faster.
Are you ready? Here are the five tips to help you achieve your goals faster
1. Find who has what you want
Sure, you could figure it out all by yourself, but how much time will it take? Six months? One year? Five years?
There are people out there who have achieved a similar goal before you. They’ve been there and know the process so why reinvent the wheel? Why not ‘steal’ their blueprint?
Find people who have achieved what you want to achieve and learn everything you can from them. Look at their mindset, beliefs and habits. As Tony Robbins says, “If you want to be successful, find someone who has achieved the results you want and copy what they do and you’ll achieve the same results.”
Who has what you want?
2. Create a new identity to match your goal
Whatever your goal may be, you want to create a new identity in line with that goal. You want to think and act like the person who has already achieved your goal. To help you do so you can create a goal statement starting with ‘I am’.
Let’s say you want to lose weight to improve your health. Then, see yourself as a healthy person. An examples of an ‘I am’ statement for that particular example could be:
I’m a healthy person. I walk every day and I always take the stairs. I love eating healthy food because it makes me feel good about myself.
When you craft your statement try to be as specific as possible. Imagine how a healthy person would think and act. What specific actions would they take every day and why? Why is their health important? What emotional benefit do they get from taking care of their health?
When you write down your ‘I am’ statement make sure that:
- It starts with ‘I am’. Using I am statement is a great way to strengthen your new identity.
- It is compelling. You want it to resonate with you and inspire you in some ways
- You read it regularly. Practice reading your goal statement in the morning and in the evening. Add emotions to it and visualize yourself talking about your goals to people you’ve just met.
What identity do you need to create to achieve your goal?
3. Fall forward
Over time, as you strengthen your goal identity, you’ll start believing in yourself and will take consistent action towards your goal.
However, let’s face it. Often you won’t feel 100% ready. Thus, one of the keys to achieve your goal faster is your willingness to start before you’re ready.
In the past few years I did many things I wasn’t fully prepared to do. I created a blog, shot YouTube videos, did Facebook Live and even quit my job. All of these activities were out of my comfort zone, but I did them anyway because I knew I couldn’t wait to be ready. I had to act now.
The truth is that your time is incredibly scarce. If you wait to be ready, you risk looking back at your life wondering why you didn’t do all the cool things you’d always wanted to do when you were younger.
What is one scary thing that if you did, would allow you to make a giant step toward your goal?
4. Ask, ask, ask
Get into the habit of asking again and again.
Sadly, most people are afraid to ask because of the fear of rejection. They don’t want to feel bad; they don’t want their ego to be hurt. Unfortunately, if you don’t ask, the answer is always no!
Many people out there are in the position to help you, and would willingly do so. They may have the time, the money or the connections you need. However, if you don’t ask, how are they supposed to know you need their help? Thus, the first step is always to ask.
Remember that, with the internet, it has never been easier to connect with people from all around the world. Find people who can help you, swallow your ego, and ask.
5. Expose your sneaky ways to procrastinate
Have you noticed that the harder you work, the luckier you tend to become. To achieve your goals faster you must commit to take concrete actions that produce real results.
Most people believe they’re take action towards their goals while in realty they’re procrastinating in some way or another. Watching a TED Talk is not work. Reading a great book is not work either.
Here is the difference between working and not working: intent. The key is the intent behind what you’re doing. Below are some examples:
- Work: Watching a TED Talk with the intent of using the content for one of your article or for a presentation at work.
- Not work: Passively watching a TED Talk.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that watching TED Talks hasn’t some value. I’m simply saying that I wouldn’t call it work.
- Work: Reading a great book with the intent of using the content to write an article or develop materials for a seminar
- Not work: Reading a great book because you enjoy it.
Ideally, you want to spend 90% or more of your time taking concrete action towards your goal.
Now, make a list of everything you did this week. Then, answer the following question:
- Do you have a clear intent behind your task?
- Would your company pay you for that task?
- Is it a task you could delegate to someone else? (i.e. is that task valuable?)
- Is it the type of tasks you would write on your to-do list?
- Is that task really moving you toward your goal or is it a distraction?
As you go through this exercise, you may realize that many of the tasks you completed this week aren’t ‘real’ work.
So, from today, among these 5 tips, which one will you start using to achieve your goals faster? Leave me a comment below to let me know.
**** Here Is a Special Bonus For You ****
Why not go further in your personal development journey? If you like this article I’m sure you will benefit from my free e-book. You can download it below:
Thibaut Meurisse is the founder of whatispersonaldevelopment.org. Obsessed with improvement, he dedicates his life to finding the best possible ways to durably transform both his life and the lives of others. Check out his free e-book “The 5 Commandments of Personal Development” or order his book The One Goal: Master the Art of Goal Setting, Win Your Inner Battle, and Achieve Exceptional Results on Amazon now.