So, you’ve separated. The relationship has ended. Now what? How does a person move on in a healthy way? Separations are surely not easy, whatever the scenario, but there are methods to reduce your struggle.
— Give yourself time to grieve.
No matter how committed you are to moving on, you have to give yourself time to mourn the relationship. Whether you had been the one to leave or your partner was, separations are almost always painful. Adjustments have to be made and feelings processed, and this naturally will take time.
Sometimes people make the particular mistake of attempting to bury their difficult feelings, but in this way they are trying to bypass the healing process completely. Indeed no one wants to feel miserable. We desire to feel better as soon as possible. However, the only effective way to feel better is to face your feelings directly.
Allow yourself to feel hurt, miserable, angry, baffled, and all the other emotions that often come with breakups. If you permit yourself to feel these things now, you’re more unlikely to have those feelings resurface down the road when you’re least anticipating it.
— Form a support network
You’ve gone from sharing a daily part of your life with somebody else to being single all over again. For lots of people, this is just about the hardest of changes. Maybe you feel alone, but in all probability you’re really not. Now is the right time to reach out to your good friends and family members for support. Phone them when you need someone to speak to. Invite them over when you need to have a good laugh, cry, get your thoughts off these things, get away from home, vent, and do any other activity you have to do.
— Get out and about
Just as much as you might want to shut the whole world and everyone in it out from time to time, you need to get out of the house and be social as well. Get out with family, a few of your good friends as well as others from your trusted support network.
In the event you really don’t have such a circle, then it is now time to work on getting one.
Get involved in some new hobbies or activities and meet some new people. Instead of looking at the breakup like a entire loss, try looking at it from a different viewpoint. You have got the opportunity at this point to devote time to other things, making new friends, acquiring new knowledge, developing newinterests and concentrating on yourself.
— Move things all around you
You’re starting a whole new chapter in your life, and a good way to remind yourself of this is simply by rearranging your surroundings. Change the position of any chair, your bed, a table. Move a photo or buy a new one. Create these types of modifications to your home and things can really feel different in a fresher, newer way.
— Give back
You may be going through a particularly rough time right at this moment, but why not put things in perspective a little bit, do some volunteer work, or get involved with a charity. It can feel great to do things for others, especially those who are really in need.
Think about what type of things you can get involved with. If are fond of animals, you could volunteer at a pet shelter. If you’re a person of faith, you can get involved with charity work done by your place of worship. There are plenty of different alternatives, but you need to choose something which is meaningful to you. You will feel wonderful after assisting, AND it will help to get your loss into perspective.
Above all, give yourself time to make the adjustments necessary, time to process your own emotions, and time to recover. Be gentle with yourself and you’ll find yourself moving forward right into a better day.
Peter Field is a British hypno-psychotherapist and a Member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. Please visit his Birmingham Hypnotherapy site for more information. His international best selling best selling hypnotherapy book ‘The Chi of Change’ is now available from Amazon and other good book sellers.
Money, financial success, prosperity, abundance, all terms describing an area of life that is almost an obsession in modern society. It can also be of great concern to those pursuing self development, self actualization or various paths of self help. This article is to briefly touch on a few key points concerning this area of self development and hopefully give some direction to those wishing to pursue this further.
First of all, one of the characteristics of money relevant to today’s article, is that money is a multiplier. In other words, whatever your current overall condition of being is, if you suddenly have more money that condition will be amplified. If you are generally happy and handling your life in a positive manner, more money will help you in that direction. If you are unhappy, neurotic or otherwise dysfunctional, more money will also help you in that direction. This is why there are happy, well adjusted “poor” people and also the cliché of the miserable rich person. Which person is really “rich’ or “poor”? As the popular music group the Beatles sang “Can’t Buy Me Love”…. This shows us that the environment we create from what is inside us is a more powerful creator of our condition of reality than money!
Many of us are concerned about the lack of money. What can we say about this popular topic? Those who are working on dealing with this issue may want to check as to whether they have ever asked to specifically improve their financial condition. Who or what to ask are beyond the scope of this article, but the point needs to be noted.
Another area regarding the lack of money can be described as “abundance blockers”. It is not uncommon for a person to be double minded about money issues. While they consciously profess a desire to improve their financial condition, a part of the person, usually subconsciously, works against that desire. Financial success may be associated with such negatives as excessive work, less family time, more responsibility, shallowness, lack of spirituality, or hurting the people around you. Attitudes expressed by family members about finances, that you may not even agree with, may be unconsciously influencing your behavior with little awareness on your part. Various techniques to identify and remove such blockages can be sought out by the individual wishing to advance in this area or others. Some individuals can identify a life cycle that they have repeated multiple times. A typical cycle involves an individual advancing financially or other ways and then suddenly falling back to prior levels due to unconscious blockages or scripts they are acting out.
Another aspect of this subject to be aware of is the idea of “financial freedom”. Better finances are supposed to give you more freedom in life. Perhaps more freedom is not best for you at this time. Perhaps a lesser degree of freedom would help you to develop considerably beyond where you would be if you had financial freedom now. Something else to consider…
This article has attempted to reveal and review some of the relevant issues involved in bringing more money into your life and improving your finances. For a more comprehensive treatment of this self development topic and many more, see our FREE ebook “Manifesting Mindset” as described below.