Think Positive about Your Self Confidence!  


A person’s self confidence is their ability to believe in themselves.  People with a high self confidence are optimistic, assertive, and eager individuals ready to take on the world and conquer the goals.  On the other hand, people with a low self confidence find themselves often distant and despondent, constantly questioning themselves and often passive or submissive.  Self confidence is the key to succeeding in your academic pursuits, athletic activities, employment field, and private life.  Individuals that entertain a high sense of self confidence usually go on to phenomenally succeed, whereas individuals with a low sense of self confidence tend to be brought down by their inner demons and fail.


The trap of low self confidence is extremely easy to fall into and extremely difficult to remove yourself.  That tiny voice in the back of your head that criticizes, questions, and insults can easily grow louder and louder the more you listen.  Instead of traditional angel on one should and devil on the other, someone with low self confidence finds the devil there more often than not.  Instead of boosting themselves up by enjoying their accomplishments or congratulating themselves on a job well done, individuals with low self esteem find their shoulder devil is constantly picking and finding fault in the midst of triumph.


They key to maintaining a high self esteem is positive thinking.  Individuals that think of themselves in a positive light are more likely to have a higher self confidence than those nay-sayers in the crowd.  One way to remain positive and keep and upbeat aura is to surround yourself with positive people.  Avoid individuals who criticize, nit pick, and put down.  These negative individuals are a sinking ship and will only bring you down with them.  By surrounding yourself with positive people, you will find it easier to maintain your high sense of a self worth and banish that devil from your shoulder.  If you find yourself in a situation where you must deal with individuals with a negative outlook, confront them on the matter.  Often, office gossip, school yard taunts, or home issues bury themselves deep within our minds and wreck havoc on our self confidence.  Instead of allowing yourself to be burdened by these harmful words and thoughts, fight back!  Refuse to stoop to their level, but insist the back biting and drama cease with the negative words.  This task is certain to be difficult and the easiest thing to do is to walk away and let yourself moon over the hurtful words and thoughts, but the right thing to do is to attempt to put a stop to the situation.  If the individuals refuse to cease, continue, or even worsen their actions, then break apart from the trend.  Unfortunately, this may mean ending relationships, both personal and job related.


If you find yourself surrounded by so-called friends who constantly make you feel poorly about yourself and lower your self confidence, it might be time to part ways.  Remember, friends, family, and loved ones are supposed to make you feel good about yourself and have your best interest at heart.  This is not always the case and friends by title alone can do more harm than most enemies.  Furthermore, personal relationships can have the same—if not worse—affect on one’s self confidence level.  Quite often, individuals in abusive relationships find themselves despondent and upset about their situation.  If a loved one is making you feel poorly about yourself by constant criticism, abusive language, and distrusting actions, drastic circumstances may be due.  Make the case for a change in the relationship and make your loved one understand what his or her words, thoughts, or actions do to your self confidence.  If this fails, you may need to make a painful break, but remember, your loved ones are supposed to love and support you at all times.  If someone is failing to do so, they have not fulfilled their role in you life.




Complete Well-being Begins with Building Positive Emotions

Women come to me often wondering why they are having a hard time finding their own place of well-being or inner calm. So I’m always looking for the hard facts. Specifically, my curiosity has always been around complete well-being: not just physical health, or financial wealth, beauty or balanced weight, and not just a healthy mind, but all of them put together.

The real questions have always been how do we create complete well-being for ourselves and how do we teach it to others?

My basic premise is that complete well-being begins with building positive emotions where no emotions or negative emotions exist. Pure and simple, our history, upbringing, friends, family and many other factors play into the types of emotions that have become habitual for each of us. Sometimes lack of complete well-being stems from a build-up of lots of habitual negative emotions that fuel more negative emotions. In a way, it is founded entirely in not knowing what complete well-being feels like (or not knowing what it is like to live with an abundance of positive emotions).

I look for evidence of my theory everywhere. Sometimes I find it in one of my kids, other times in myself, and sometimes I even find it in complete strangers. Today I find it in my reading:

One article submitted towards the topic of ‘the science of well-being: integrating neurobiology, psychology and social science’ by Martin E. P. Seligman, Acacia C. Park, and Tracy Steen in the Royal Journal says: “Results from a new randomized, placebo-controlled study demonstrate that people are happier and less depressed three months after completing exercises targeting positive emotion. The ultimate goal of positive psychology is to make people happier by understanding and building positive emotion, gratification and meaning.”

Another article, this one submitted by Barbara L. Fredrickson says, “The broaden-and-build theory describes the form and function of a subset of positive emotions, including joy, interest, contentment and love. A key proposition is that these positive emotions broaden an individual’s momentary thought-action repertoire: joy sparks the urge to play, interest sparks the urge to explore, contentment sparks the urge to savour and integrate, and love sparks a recurring cycle of each of these urges within safe, close relationships.” In other words, positive emotions spark more positive emotions.

Both of these articles support my theory that complete well-being can be learned and that we’re all capable of living in a state of complete-well being, if only we set our intention to live there and learn how to create new positive thinking.

The reality is that working towards a state of complete well-being is a process — one that never ends because life throws us new challenges every day and we have to find new ways to regain our balance. However, once you realize that this wonderful place of health, inner wealth, and richness can exist for you if only you know the secret, you are halfway home.

Knowledge is powerful. This knowledge, in my opinion, is powerful and priceless.

By Julie Fisher