6 Ways To Overcome Shyness And Gain Confidence

Many people have problems with shyness and confidence.

Most of these problems can be overcome by applying easy to learn tips and ideas designed to overcome shyness. Here are 6 simple tips to overcome shyness and boost your self confidence.

Are you shy? Do you have difficulty coping with people or situations? Then I have good news for you. You do not have to suffer from shyness and you should not feel insecure and fear that you are being judged with every step you take.

Winning the war with shyness takes practice

But is definitely well worth the effort as the result is increasing confidence and self esteem. Wake up feeling good about yourself, able to face the world with confidence and security and the knowing that no feeling of shyness can come in your way of achieving your desires.

There are hundreds of books written on the subject of how beat shyness and gain confidence, but there are a few techniques that anyone can practice. Here are 6 suggestions of techniques on how to overcome your shyness:

1. Every morning, as soon as you get up, get in front of a mirror and say out loud “I feel terrific! I feel terrific! I feel terrific!”

Repeat this affirmation with enthusiasm at least ten times everyday until it’s ingrained into your subconscious mind. If feel a little self conscious to begin with lock yourself in the bathroom. The results will amaze you.

2. Feel good about yourself. Look your best. Dress up more often.

This gives you an extra feeling of confidence and self esteem. On its own just knowing that you look good will boost your confidence and reinforce with others that there are things about you that are worth getting to know.

3. Take a risk at least once a day.

It’s very invigorating and conquering fears by taking risks helps you grow in confidence and self esteem. Start with small risks and fears and as you overcome them move onto bigger things. There’s nothing you cannot do. Be confident in knowing that change can only help you grow, and boost your self confidence.

4. When you are engaged in a one to one conversation, or with a larger group of people, let them know that you’re shy.

This prevents them from misreading you and they are far more likely to invite you into the conversation rather than leave you just listening and wishing you could contribute.

Many people, me included, find following a conversation in a noisy room difficult. If you are having difficulty say so and move so that you can hear. People respect honesty, and vulnerability and you will attract more honest people into your life as a result.

5. Rejection is a fact of life that everyone experiences. It is rarely you that is being rejected.

If you are rejected, for example if you ask someone for a date, remember that everyone has different likes and dislikes. You may be attracted to one type of person and not others. The same applies to other people and you are probably just not their type. That does not devalue you in any way. Accept this and know that you will get over it. Never take it personally and keep in mind that if people reject you it is because of their own likes and dislikes and not because of who you are. You are equally entitled to reject others because of your likes and dislikes.

6. Engage in an activities that make you feel excited and good about yourself or start a hobby that gives you a feeling of relaxation.

This could be anything from gardening to Tai Chi to Karate. Take some lessons, learn or master a musical instrument or take singing lessons. Do something that excites you and take a risk. Exploring things that make you feel excited is a great antidote for shyness.

The Joy of Self Confidence

Self confident people stay ahead of deadlines

 

Self confidence is known to make employees more effective in their jobs. Confident employees are capable of taking up complex tasks that require greater commitment and concentration. Confident executives are filled with hope and enthusiasm and are able to charge up the atmosphere of their workplace thereby inspiring people around them. These executives are a great asset to their employers as they have all that it takes to finish to with perfection the task at hand. Self confident people develop a habit of succeeding in whatever task they put their focus on. These guys surely beat deadlines.

Self confident people remain cheerful

 

A confident person is able to complete his jobs within the stipulated time and maintains an organized schedule. Staying ahead of deadlines keeps a person in control of the situation and matters at both office and home. A task completed well on time gives a certain joy and lots of time at hand as well. This avoids many tight situations and helps to maintain the calm and poise of a person. Self confidence is the best “face pack” one can have. You can make out a self-confident person with his beaming eyes and a cheerful persona.

 

Self confident people enjoy better health

 

Self-confident people are able to deal with chaotic situations with comparatively more calm and poise. They do not get puzzled because they have an inherent belief that they are capable of setting things right and make constructive efforts to solve the problem. This helps them avoid stress, high blood pressure, anger and confusion. Self confident people are, hence, on their way to good health and peaceful life.

                                                                       

Self confident people have more time for their family

 

A good day at workplace more often than not is quite a big factor as to how a person behaves once he gets back home. A great day at office makes a person cheerful and someone who would like to share happy moments with his family. He will have more time for his family. Spending time with spouse and kids often is a rejuvenating experience and makes him or her look forward for another great day.

 

Self confident people enjoy stronger relationship bonds

 

Spending time is the most precious investment one can make in any relationship. These days when divorce is on rise among working couples, confident people take difficulties in their stride. They are better organizers and are able to draw a line between work and family, creating a balance in their work and family lives. They are able to spend quality time with their families. They make sure that the time for the family should remain exclusively for the family and they avoid mixing it with work. Spending more time with children help them grow up with more sense of security and belongingness. These children, thus, have much greater chance to be self-reliant and self-confident when they grow up. Self confident people, by the virtue of their ability to organize things better are able to cement relationships with time and care. Self confident people also have friends and enjoy active social life.

 

Self confident people make more money

 

Self confidence helps executives generate a lot of team spirit and to have the ability to take up complex tasks and lead from the front. These qualities certainly bring profits in various ways for the company they work for. They are able to focus at the job at hand and complete it successfully. Self confident people tend to climb the corporate ladder comparatively fast and getter better pay packages!

 

Self confident people become role models

 

Self confident people stand a far greater chance of achieving success in life both on their work and personal fronts, than their counterparts. Self-confident people develop a certain charisma around them which makes people look up to them. They believe in themselves and develop the courage to take on bigger problems and provide solutions. Self-confident people rise to enviable positions and act as a source of inspiration for learners and beginners. Self-confident people have more capability to become an asset to the company they work for and the nation they live in. People take pride in knowing and following them, and they often become role models as an employee of his company or as a father of his kid!

Check Your Confidence Levels

 

Would you like to be confident? Your answer may be – yes; I do want to be confident. However, this answer lacks the impact. It is too generalized. Just like everybody wants to do well in life and be rich but not many ever realize this wish. This is because to actually get somewhere in life, you need to quantify your confidence. You need to define the task for which you need to be confident so that you can execute it successfully.  A mere wish to be confident won’t take you anywhere. The dream must have a deadline as well!

Self Confidence might mean different things to different people groups. For a child it might mean to be able to recite the poem to her teacher the next morning. For a business executive it might mean to be able to present the business report to the Board of Directors. For a salaried person it may be the ability to be able to make a switch over from his secure job to a new independent venture and so on. To execute their respective tasks, these people need a certain level of confidence, which would see them through. Every task requires a minimum level of confidence to be able to be executed. Do you have a task in your mind to be done? Do you have the level of confidence required? Let us check it out!

 

Following is a simple questionnaire. You have to answer to these in a YES or NO

 

  1. Does it happen too often with you that you cannot take a decision all by yourself and you seem to look for your colleagues, friends, or your spouse to sort the matter for you?
  2. Do you always seem to be in perpetual need of a support system wherein you can feel secure?
  3. Do you just sit and listen all the times in your office meetings?
  4. Do you feel difficulty in reporting a matter to your boss or you have an excellent idea that can improve your company’s efficiency but you cannot muster enough courage to go and talk about it to your Boss?
  5. Are you terrified to meet someone new? Is public speaking your worst nightmare?
  6. Do you timidly accept orders from your superior even though you know that you are already overloaded and you need to say no?
  7. Are you excessively concerned about what other people think of you?
  8. Do you fear taking risks?
  9. Do you feel dissatisfied about your appearance?
  10. Are you uncomfortable in social gatherings – being amongst lots of people?

 

If you happen to answer these questions with a Yes, you seem to have a confidence crisis that might become an obstacle in successfully executing your tasks. Don’t Panic, as it is good that you found out since now you are aware of a potential problem of your life. The very fact that you are aware of your confidence rating makes you ready to take further action and work towards eliminating the negative effects of low confidence levels and work towards building your self confidence.

 

Here are some more questions you may answer.

 

  1. Have you accomplished anything in the past?
  2. Are you the one to go ahead and break the ice at a new place or wait for someone else to initiate a discussion?
  3. Do you feel you are well respected by others?
  4. Do you think you have the potential to succeed?
  5. Are you a happy and loving person?
  6. Are you satisfied with your career graph?
  7. Are you satisfied with your skills and qualifications?
  8. Do you feel in control of your life?
  9. Do you imagine yourself to be more successful five years from now?
  10. Do you feel that you are a worthwhile person?

 

If you happen to answer most of these questions with a NO, you have LOW self-confidence levels.

 

However, a YES is never decisive and a NO is never final. One needs to constantly maintain the good points and work towards converting bad points into good points. And the good news is that it is very much possible. It’s important that you honestly answer the questions above, since only when you realize the present status of your self-confidence would you be working towards building self-confidence or maintaining and increasing your present levels.

 

 

 

How to Build Self-Confidence in 8 Steps

Why is self-confidence so important? It is important because it gives you courage, self-esteem and assertiveness. When self-confidence is present, you are not afraid to take risks and to try new things.

Self-confidence is essential for a happy and successful life and is a quality of character that most people appreciate, when they see it in other people.

When you possess self-confidence, you do not allow what people think and say about you to affect you, and you don’t take things too personally. This means a more peaceful life.

Most people are not born with this quality of character. However, you can build it up. You can build self-confidence by changing your mindset and your attitude toward life, even if various personal experiences caused you to lose it.

How to Build Self-Confidence

I would like to suggest a few simple tips to help you build self-confidence.
1. Think about what you have already done in your life

Even if you experienced failure and unhappiness in your life, there certainly are a few achievements. These need not be great achievements, but quite simple things, like getting good grades at school or college, promotion at work, getting along well with your neighbors, getting your driving license, or learning to swim.

Thinking about those achievements makes you realize that you have experienced success in your life, and not all is failure. This would make you feel better about yourself and about your life, and improve your self-confidence.

2. Focus on what you did and achieved, not on what you did not do and did not achieve

Why fill your mind with scenarios of failure? If you keep thinking about failure, you expect and anticipate it and attract it to you, and this further spoils your sense of self-confidence. Replace the negative movie in your mind with a movie about success. See yourself in your mind where you really want to be, living the life you really want.

If you can keep watching a movie of success in your mind, you will attract success. This process would build up your self-confidence.

3. Write down a list of your achievements and success

Take another step toward building your self-confidence and write down a list of your achievements and success, and at look at this list often.

You might say that you have never experienced success. You are wrong about that. You might have not experienced great success, but you surely had, even if only occasionally, experienced some kind of success. Even baking a good cake, being in good relations with your spouse or children, or going for a walk almost every day is success.

4. Think of your talents and abilities

Set a time each day to think about your talents and abilities, and find ways to develop and use them. Do not say that you have no talents and skills. Everyone has some. You just need to find them.

5. Strengthen your willpower

Lack of self-confidence goes hand in hand with lack of willpower. If you strengthen your willpower, your self-confidence would grow strong too. I have written a lot about willpower in many articles, and offered a few exercises to strengthen it. I have also written a book about it, so there is no need to go deeper into this topic here.

6. Set small, simple goals

Set small, simple goals that are within you reach and go achieve them. This will greatly boost your confidence. I am talking about really small goals, such as cleaning and arranging your wardrobe, inviting friends to your house, starting to learn swimming, or taking a day off and having fun.

These small acts will make you feel better about yourself and increase your self-confidence.

7. Develop a positive attitude

Remove from your mind all negative words and do not use them in your conversation.

Instead of focusing on negative events and expecting the worse, make the effort to focus on the positive and expect positive outcome. This might not be easy if your mindset has always been negative, but with persistence, you can change it. You will find plenty of information about positive thinking at this website.

8. Give yourself motivational talks

Remove any negative commentary running in your mind. Be firm and do not allow negative comments about you and about your life to run in your mind. You need to be more aware of what is going on in your mind and not allow negative comments and negative inner conversations to go on.

These tips will help you build your self-confidence. In some case, you might need more than these tips. Sometimes, if there is extreme lack of confidence, you might need to seek professional help, like a counsellor or a psychologist, who might help you find the problem to the lack of self-confidence and offer you ways to help you build it up.

Author :

Remez Sasson
Remez Sasson is the founder of Success Consciousness. He is the author of articles and books, teaching how to use one’s mental tools and inner powers to create a life of happiness, success, fulfillment and inner peace.