Can we learn how to respond optimistically and hopefully to events that challenge work life balance? According to psychologist and researcher Martin Seligman, the answer is YES. While some folks appear to be hardwired to respond optimistically to ups and downs in life and work, others are wired for pessimistic responses. Fortunately, you do not have to settle for the wiring you were born with. Find out how you can improve your resilience and hopefulness by acquiring positive thinking skills.
It’s important to get a handle on mood swings or energy shifts if you want to maintain your work life balance and be successful in business. According to psychologist and researcher Martin Seligman, some folks appear to be hardwired to respond optimistically and hopefully to work life balance upset and life’s ups and downs. Others are wired for opposite responses. Fortunately, you do not have to settle for the wiring you were born with. With practice you can improve your resilience and your hopefulness by acquiring solid positive thinking skills.
I like to think of the process of building hopefulness, resilience and positive thinking skills as an analogue to building physical fitness: it takes attention, concentration, commitment, and repetition. If you approach a workout program with those qualities, you can almost always improve your fitness.
The first hurdle to get over is the belief that you already need to be different in order to succeed. You don’t. You are the way you are and you can start from here, overwhelmed, worried, anxious, whatever. Don’t fall into your story about how you feel, but take a stand for what you intend to accomplish to restore your work life balance and where you plan to go. You do not need to feel better before you try these practices — do them now. Another caveat: Do not interpret your progress in the short term — measuring increase in strength and endurance after a single workout would be silly.
Seligman points out that people with an optimistic approach to life habitually accept positive thoughts and dispute negative thoughts. Those of us who are wired to be more pessimistic tend to dispute the positive and accept the negative. Optimists tend to assume that their life balance will be restored, good events will happen again and that bad events are an exception; pessimists assume the reverse. I am oversimplifying his rigorously considered arguments, and I encourage you to read the book if the science of this is important to you.
Here’s a practice he recommends for shifting from hopelessness to hopefulness. I successfully use it with my clients to help them restore their work life balance. He calls it ABCDE for:
Adversity — Beliefs — Consequences — Disputation — Energization.
A – Adversity
Start by spelling out the nature of the situation. Notice that you can experience hopelessness in response to ostensibly positive situations as well as to negative ones. For example, getting a new client or being accepted into a final round of interviews can upset your balance and send you into a whirlwind of anxiety and fear that produces just as much hopelessness and overwhelm as not getting the job or not making the cut.
B — Beliefs
This is your opportunity to spell out the thoughts and beliefs that are fueling the negative response.
C — Consequences
Look at the consequences of your beliefs — what happened as a result? How do you behave? What happened then?
D — Disputation
Actively dispute the beliefs that break your life balance and send you into the downward spiral. This is where you practice arguing with yourself in a productive way.
E — Energization
When you have been effective in disputing the problem beliefs, you feel an influx of energy, a sense of renewed hope, or at least of peacefulness.
So, here’s an example from my life:
I was excited about moving forward on two projects when I fell on my bike and cracked my ribs. I was okay and working hard with this for almost three days, then depression and anxiety set in and my usual positive thinking ability left me. Instead of feeling like moving forward I felt like bursting into tears.
How will I ever restore my work life balance and get things done if I can’t stop these mood swings? Maybe I am just not meant to lead these projects. I don’t know enough and I can’t seem to get started — I probably should have said no in the first place. It would be better to bow out now, as embarrassing as that will be, than to keep going and have a bigger train wreck later when I just can’t make the grade.
These beliefs leave me feeling very sad and small, like a six year old, and then I wonder how a six year old can possibly be a leader. I find it hard to concentrate and I just want to hide.
Constant low-grade pain can take it out of anyone. The world is not going to come to an end if you delay things because you’ve been injured. And who says you have to do it alone anyway? Some of the problem is that you don’t have enough information to go forward. That calls for making requests of others, not for blaming yourself. And when you’re not leaning on yourself so hard, your positive thinking ability starts coming back and your mood lightens — so maybe it would be smart to cut yourself some slack this week after letting folks know what is going on. You don’t have to crawl under a rock — you can reach out instead to restore your work life balance. And even if some work projects end up being passed on to others, there will always be other opportunities.
I called and emailed colleagues to regroup. Not only did these conversations relieve my anxiety, they made simple next steps quite clear. In one case, my summary of a conversation ended up being exactly what our group needed to move forward. Who knew? I had been worried about making things happen on my own when all along my strength was in articulating and clarifying complex input from many sources.
See how this works? I do strongly recommend the book as there are many more practices in it that address different aspects of overwhelm and ways to restore your work life balance. But if you struggle with hopelessness and challenge yourself to work through this one exercise on a regular basis (and if that means five or ten times a day, so be it), your positive thinking skills will grow and you WILL get relief. Remember — don’t measure change before it can happen — keep doing the practices long enough for significant positive shifts to take root and grow.
“Enlightenment” Your 7 days program to Positive thinking
I’m sure you have a bright idea concealed somewhere in the back of your mind that you just cannot wait to test out. Of course you’re not the only one with the bright idea. So just what inspires you to churn those imaginative, or even impressive juices to its utmost taste?
It’s always best to establish a personal target where you can complete the most in record time, maybe like cutting the yard in an hour before the big game on TELEVISION. An appropriate and positive mental outlook in whatever you do will make things easier, as well as enjoyable.
Here are some tips to make it through the week even if you’re just sitting in your favored couch. An idea takes time to form in your head and is constantly at work while you are active sitting.
Having a bit of positive thinking can assist you realize things that are never ever thought feasible. Thinking large is without a doubt the American Means and that what made our nation prosperous.
1. Take enthusiastic action towards living your life by design. Talk is cheap. Action = deposits in the bank of a passionately authentic future. Without it, passion is void.
This is a perfect instance where dreams are made from where you start by playing with your mind, then with your hands. And if the idea weakens, you can easily always return to it later on until you finish it.
2. Commit to yourself in addition to those you enjoy to produce powerfully a life you can easily like. Instead of responding, commit to producing from your heart and soul, from love rather than concern. The American Dream will certainly constantly be there, however a dream will still be a dream without movement. Be surprised as the change starts.
3. Acknowledge and embrace the thought that each moment is ideal regardless of its outcome. Whenever you hit on something that may appear too extreme, why not give it a chance and see if it will certainly work. You will be shocked to see of there are other methods to obtain the activity done in time. If you are not pleased with the outcome, decide to utilize that moment to learn from and make the proper shift.
4. Dwell totally in a place of appreciation. Learn to employ exactly what you have in your hands and make use of it in the most useful means. Slipping into neediness will come to be less of a habit when you repetitively reposition towards appreciation, far from poverty consciousness.
5. Usage a Passion Formula of Recognize/Reevaluate/Restore in place of the Shoulda/Woulda/Coulda speedy. The previous is based in raised understanding and abundance while the latter focuses on scarcity and lack. As you deal with people or jobs that could seem more difficult than scaling the summit of the Himalayas, enable yourself to realize that the job is just as crucial as releasing orders to your subordinates. You would rather be richly enthusiastic!
6. Keep humor at the center of idea, making fun of and with yourself when feasible. You could find yourself fairly enjoyable when you loosen up! I am yet to see a comedian ever before go hungry even though his jokes are as ‘old as great-grandma’. Life has so much to provide to allow you to mope around in self pity. Humor is really attractive, really passionate: life-giving.
7. Believe that you are the architect of your fate. No one can take your enthusiastic future from you except for you! Create your life authentically. As long as there’s still breath in your body, there is no end to the amount of you can accomplish in a life time. The idea of thinking huge is all about appreciating your work, which would cause celebrate a discovery that is born within your hands. Watch everything movement into spot with best, passionate accuracy.
It’s interesting just how individuals get wallowed up by something trivial as discovering to make use of a home computer, when nowadays that leading home computer companies are making software that also the children can do it. I do not mean to be condescending, but that’s the idea of not having any sort of positive thinking in your life-you’ll simply end up as a dim bulb in a dark corner. So instead of subjecting yourself to what you will be doomed for, make your path by taking the first step with a positive mental outlook.