Time and time again players, coaches, and clients ask for help in developing self-belief. Self-belief is often framed up as ‘self-confidence’ and ‘self-esteem.’ It is a key area in sports training and mental health recovery and strengthening
Kindness is a generosity of spirit. It comes to life when we give of ourselves and our time to be of help to others, without expecting anything in return. When you show kindness to somebody you bring out the best in yourself, and a side-effect of brightening up somebody else’s day is to feel happier in the moment yourself.
Pay attention to the impact your behaviour has on others, and notice your own feelings in association to their reactions. And think about how you feel yourself when somebody else shows you kindness. What you give comes back to you in even greater quantity. When you are kind, you not only get an immediate payback in terms of a feel-good factor, you will also receive kindness from others, and in completely unexpected and unrelated ways.
It is so easy to find ways to be kind to others: say something supportive when you instinctively feel someone needs to hear it; offer help without being asked for it; smile encouragingly; swallow your criticisms; listen without judgement; let mistakes slide instead of assigning blame; make small sacrifices for the benefit of somebody in greater need.
A great rule of thumb I apply to my life is to do unto others as I’d have them do unto me, and, do unto myself as I’d do unto others. The latter part is just as important as the first. It is no good to be consistently kind to others and forget to be so to yourself. You will run out of steam, and feel less able to show kindness to others if you don’t replenish your own mind, body and spirit on a regular basis.
Being kind to yourself means getting your needs met, being gentle with yourself instead of critical when you feel you’re not performing at your best, forgiving yourself when the need arises instead of beating yourself up. When you get into the habit of treating yourself with kindness, it becomes much easier to extend that consideration and behaviour to others.
Ways To Calm Life’s Chaos
We are born simple beings. As we grow, we attract more and more “stuff” and chaos into our lives. In order to get back to a level of …
We are born simple beings. As we grow, we attract more and more “stuff” and chaos into our lives. In order to get back to a level of simplicity as an adult, you must actively choose it and make changes to achieve it. Here are seven ways to create simplicity in your life:
1. Identify what is causing chaos in your life. Too many activities, too many “voluntary obligations,” too many
priorities, too much debt, toxic relationships, too much clutter
in your home or workplace…all these things can be raising your chaos level. The first step is to identify what is adding chaos, and is NOT adding a significant amount of joy, happiness or
value to your life.
2. Turn off the television. The average American watches in excess of 20 hours of television per week. With this in mind, turn off the T.V. one night a week
to have quiet time to yourself or with your family. Don’t worry…the news will continue to happen even if you’re not watching it!
3. Stop spending time with toxic people.
This is a tough one, but well worth it. Refuse to spend your precious time and energy on those constantly negative people in your life. Life is short. Spend it with those who love, support, encourage and inspire you!
4. Take a stand at the holidays.
I know people who dread the holidays because of the tremendous stress involved. If it’s the gift-giving tradtion that causes you stress, one way to lessen it is to have a policy that you will abide by. You get to decide what that policy will be. It may be no gifts for anyone, yourself included, Pollyanna name trading, gifts only for children under 16, a spending limit per
person, or whatever you come up with which will work for you. Whatever you decide, let your friends and family know well in advance of the holidays and tell them that you’ll be sticking to it. They may not believe it at first, but you will reap the rewards when you find yourself enjoying the holiday season again.
5. Cut your hair. Sound silly? How much time, effort and aggravation is it to deal with your hair every day? If your hair is high maintenance, consider a new style that will take less time and effort. Any stylist worth his salt will be able to give you a hair design that will fit your face and hair type and will still be easy to live with.
6. Scale down your possessions. Every single thing you own, from your three toothbrushes to the four winter coats to the shoeboxes you’re saving “just in case” takes something from you. It costs you time and energy out of your life because it all has to be maintained, stored, cleaned, moved or sorted through at some point. Plus, it all takes up physical and mental space. Everything you own also owns a piece of you, so now is the time to start parting with all those things that don’t bring you joy or value. You will be giving yourself the
gift of more energy and space.
7. Evaluate your time commitments.
Look at how much time and energy you’re spending on activities, organizations, clubs, social groups, etc. Really evaluate how much value or joy they give you in relation to what you invest. If you find that some have outlived their benefit or aren’t making you happy anymore, just stop spending your time there. You’ll have more time for the ones you do enjoy.