Most of us could use a bit of a self-esteem boost every once in a while.
Self-esteem is all about how we feel about ourselves. When we have low self-esteem, we can be at risk for depression, we can be more prone to tolerating abusive behavior and relationships, and we can fail to live up to our true potential.
There can also be cons to self-esteem. For example, when a person’s sense of self worth is much too high, it can turn into arrogance or what is termed ‘narcissism’, and this can create problems. Such people can find it difficult to accept and learn from their own mistakes and can develop a false sense of entitlement.
Developing a balanced level of self-esteem is very important. For some, a healthy, high self-esteem develops naturally. But for others, developing a healthy self-esteem takes more work. Check out the following pointers to give your self-esteem a kick start.
1. Draw up a list of your good qualities – For some individuals with really low self-esteem, even contemplating making a list of their good qualities seems like an overwhelming task, but it can be extremely helpful for boosting self-esteem. If you find this task challenging, consider what other people say about you. What positive compliments have you ever been given? Start with those and then expand on this. Jot your good qualities down using “I” and the present tense. For example, “I am a kind and generous person.”
2. Regular affirmations – Take another peek at the list you made. Choose your favorite qualities to use to do regular affirmations. Take those statements and jot them down on notecards and stickie notes. Stick the notes where you will notice them everyday, such as on your computer screen, mirror, or refrigerator. When you see them, take a minute to repeat them several times to yourself. Place notecards in your pocket or wallet where you are sure to come across them on a regular basis. When this happens, take a moment to read them to yourself a few times. After a while you can change out some of your best qualities for some of the other qualities on your list.
3. Gain some perspective – People often don’t talk about their challenges, failures, and struggles in life, but that’s not because they don’t have them. How we decide to approach these things will directly influence levels of self-esteem, happiness and success. The most successful and confident people in life aren’t those who have had few problems and challenges, they are those who have seen them as just a part of life and have pushed ahead anyway, learning as they go. Your failures don’t mean that you are a failure, they just mean you need to reassess the situation and the way you approach it and come at it from another angle.
4. Make yourself the priority – Part of boosting your self-worth is accepting you are worthy of your own love. Make time for yourself. Take care of yourself when you’re passing through a difficult time. Say ‘no’ when you have to and don’t feel bad about it. Make your needs clear to other people and ask for what you need. (If you have real difficulty saying ‘no’, then look for some assertiveness training, or get a book on the subject.)
Employ these 4 simple tips and you will be well on your way to boosting your self-esteem. Above all, remember to be kind to yourself and give yourself just as much love as you give to the important people in your life. You absolutely deserve it!