Why Is It Important To Improve Your Self?

Sometimes, when all our doubts, fears and insecurities wrap ourselves up, we always come up with the idea of “I wish I was somebody else.” More often than not, we think and believe that someone or rather, most people are better than us.- when in reality, the fact is, most people are more scared than us.

You spot a totally eye-catching girl sitting by herself at a party, casually sipping on a glass of Asti Spumanti. You think to yourself, “she looks so perfectly calm and confident.” But if you could read thru her transparent mind, you would see a bunch of clouds of thoughts and you might just be amazed that she’s thinking “are people talking about why I am seated here alone?… Why don’t guys find me attractive? …I don’t like my ankles, they look too skinny… I wish I was as intelligent as my best friend.”

We look at a young business entrepreneur and say “Wooh… what else could he ask for?” He stares at himself at the mirror and murmur to himself, “I hate my big eyes… I wonder why my friends won’t talk to me… I hope mom and dad would still work things out.”

Isn’t it funny? We look at other people, envy them for looking so outrageously perfect and wish we could trade places with them, while they look at us and thinks of the same thing. We are insecure of other people who themselves are insecure of us. We suffer from low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence and lose hope in self improvement because we are enveloped in quiet desperation.

Sometimes, you notice that you have an irritating habit like biting off your finger nails, having a foul mouth, and you – of all people, is the last to know.

I have a friend who never gets tired of talking. And in most conversations, she is the only one who seems to be interested in the things she has to say. So all of our other friends tend to avoid the circles whenever she’s around, and she doesn’t notices how badly she became socially handicapped – gradually affecting the people in her environment.

One key to self improvement is to LISTEN and TALK to a trusted friend. Find someone who you find comfort in opening up with even the most gentle topics you want to discuss. Ask questions like “do you think I am ill-mannered?”, “Do I always sound so argumentative?”, “Do I talk too loud?”, “Does my breath smell?”, “Do I ever bore you when were together?”. In this way, the other person will obviously know that you are interested in the process of self improvement. Lend her your ears for comments and criticisms and don’t give her answers like “Don’t exaggerate! That’s just the way I am!” Open up your mind and heart as well. And in return, you may want to help your friend with constructive criticism that will also help her improve her self.

One of Whitney Houston’s songs says “Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.” True enough. In order to love others, you must love yourself too. Remember, you cannot give what you do not have.

Before telling other people some ways on how to improve themselves, let them see that you yourself is a representation and a product of self improvement. Self improvement makes us better people, we then inspire other people, and then the rest of the world will follow.

Stop thinking of yourselves as second-rate beings. Forget the repetitive thought of “If only I was richer… if only I was thinner” and so on. Accepting your true self is the first step to self improvement. We need to stop comparing ourselves to others only to find out at the end that we’ve got 10 more reasons to envy them.

We all have our insecurities. Nobody is perfect. We always wish we had better things, better features, better body parts, etc. But life need not to be perfect for people to be happy about themselves.Self improvement and loving yourself is not a matter of shouting to the whole world that you are perfect and you are the best. It’s the virtue of acceptance and contentment. When we begin to improve ourselves, we then begin to feel contented and happy.

 

Trusting Your Inner Guidance

When we begin to feel lost or confused about various aspects of our lives, our first instinct is to search for direction. We feel sure that the answers we need are out there somewhere, and finding them will help us to know the right way to turn.

While seeking advice and guidance from others can be helpful at times, it is not always the best way to help ourselves. Rather than relying on someone else to tell us our truth, we can instead choose to look within and find the answers inside ourselves. Each of us has been given the gift of an inner advisor that will never steer us wrong.

This inner advisor is not pushy, however. He or she will not speak up unless we ask for help. When we finally open our hearts and minds to hear what our inner advisor has to say, the wisdom will begin to flow freely and our lives will begin to change for the better.

So, how do we tap this wealth of wisdom? Is there a request form we need to fill out somewhere? No, it’s even easier than that, thank goodness. Following are tips to help you connect with your inner guidance and use it to create your best life:

1) Create a Harmonious Forum – our inner guidance flourishes in peaceful, quiet surroundings. If you’ve got a lot of noise and chaos around you, you won’t be able to tap in and hear the wisdom waiting for you. Try to find a quiet place that you can relax in. You can also surround yourself with beauty by bringing in some fresh flowers, scented candles or incense, or even some soothing artwork. Whatever will help put you in a calm, peaceful mood.

2) Turn Within – if you’re not a regular meditator, this can be tricky at first. You might wonder what the heck you’re supposed to be turning “toward,” or focusing on. The answer is simple: nothing. Focus on nothing. Simply close your eyes and turn your attention inward, to the silence within you. Random thoughts will probably keep popping in, but gently push them back out and return your attention to the silence.

3) Listen for Wisdom – if you’ve got a specific situation you’re struggling with, this would be a good time to think about it. Try to do so without judgment, and without trying to come to any conclusions. Just ponder the issue and practice acceptance for what it is at this moment. Then ask yourself, “What would be the best course of action for me at this time?” Consider the possibilities before you, and think about how each one makes you feel. Most often, you will notice a difference between something that feels right, and something that feels wrong.

4) Let the Solution Materialize – if you don’t recieve any insights initially, put the issue aside for awhile. By going through this process, you’ve already tapped into your inner guidance and asked for help. Even if the answer doesn’t appear immediately, it will eventually. And in my experience, it doesn’t take long! Just make an effort to stay open to the answer when it arrives. It will usually arrive in a flash of inspiration or insight that makes you say, “Ah ha!” Or perhaps it will be more along the lines of a subtle gut feeling, where you just know that one particular course of action “feels” right.

5) Act from the Heart – once you know what you need to do, act with confidence. Don’t let worries or fears hold you back. Believe that your inner guidance knows what’s best for you, and move forward with courage. Remember that there are truly no right or wrong paths in life, only experiences that we can learn from. By at least examining your options and considering which path is right for you at this time, you are making a wiser decision than you would otherwise.

At all times, strive to be your own master. There is nothing wrong with seeking knowledge and insight from others, but you aren’t bound to mindlessly follow where they lead, either. You have the ability to find your own way and decide what’s best for you. In your quest for knowledge, you will come across information that feels right to you, and information that doesn’t seem to make sense. Use discernment and understand that there are many truths. You just have to find yours.

Your Week to Take Care of Your Life

Do your best to take care of your week, and you’ll take care of your life.

This may be something you understand on the surface level, but do you live by this idea? Many of us actually tend to favour looking through one of the lenses below:

  • The Today Mindset: You focus on getting as much done as possible each day
  • The Monthly Mindset: You think about how you can have a great month
  • The Year Mindset: You often dream about what you plan on achieving this year
  • The Retiree Mindset: You reflect on how magical life will be once you finally retire

None of these mindsets are optimal. That’s because they either produce too much pressure (the today mindset) or they provide a likelihood of procrastination (all the rest). Think of always looking at the distant horizon instead of doing what you can to live meaningfully this week.

I would argue that most people, unconsciously fall into one of previously mentioned mindsets. I used to lead my life from the monthly mindset. Every task, or goal, and philosophy I used to have, was about having the best month possible. Let’s see why this is a poor strategy.

Why the Monthly Mindset is Inefficient

A couple of years ago, I made it my goal to read four books per month. But month after month, I wasn’t able to reach my target. Because I had such a large window of time, I could easily slack off for a couple of weeks at the start. So I would end up only reading right towards the end of each month due to my deadline. You can put that down to a mixture of laziness and poor strategy, but it was largely because of the strategy.

How Focusing on the Week Changed My Life

So, instead of making it my goal to read four books per month, I decided to read one book per week. Same result, but slightly, different tactic. The subtle shift from focusing on the month to the week massively increased my consistency and focus. I started reading more books and enjoyed the process a whole lot more.

I then started thinking about how I could apply this concept to all the areas of my life…

The value in this small story is that the time-window with which you view your life, can dramatically impact your results. To generate more consistency and appreciation,  everything in your life gets better when you see it through the lens of this current week. 

So if you want a great life, do what you can to build it this week.

Questions to ask yourself:

  • How can I implement the most enjoyable workout routine for me this week?
  • How can I do what I love more often this week?
  • How can I create a bigger impact this week?
  • How can I take more risks this week?

Focusing on completing daily tasks to achieve your goals is inflexible. Focusing on the month is a better strategy, but still, it lacks sufficient positive pressure. If you choose to focus on your year – there’s hardly any pressure to take action. There’s a chance of losing track of your goals, and you can quickly revert to living without intention. Living with the retiree mindset forces you to delay living your best life in your youngest years.

The Week: The Perfect balance between Focus and Flexibility

I’ve used this ‘weekly mindset’ to play my favourite sport more often, improve my fitness, and write more articles. Life feels a lot easier when you experience life through the viewpoint of a week. Your week is not an isolated series of days. What you do during your week represents the person who you are becoming.

Take care of the week, and you’ll end up taking care of your month, year, and life.

My Last Words

If you’re a creative and interested in learning how to upgrade the way you use you live your week, read my free guide on Spiritual Productivity.

  • You’ll learn about how to split up your day into four chunks, so you worry less about external influences.
  • You’ll discover the small hacks that will take your creative work on your PC to the next level. And much more…

 Author

Samy Felice

 is a writer who is passionate about unique ideas related to living a meaningful life. His Free Guide explores ways people can make success easier.

Getting In The Zone: 5 Strategies To Help You Keep Focus, Be Calm and Perform Under Pressure

Setting a strong foundation – repetition, repetition, repetition.

One of the most effective ways to increase your performance in anything is simply by turning up and practicing! This may sound extremely obvious but it can be discounted far too often. Some people want all the glory but are not willing to put in the time to achieve it. So repetition, repetition, repetition cannot be overlooked as it’s the cornerstone of executing the task in hand.

Moving practice to performance

With a strong foundation in practice, our next task is to convert that to the match or performance. A classic example is the musician. They practice for many years in their bedroom to then hopefully one day play to hundreds or thousands of people. Their next step is to then move that playing to the stage.

The paradox of performance

Let’s just quickly address one area that can cause many people to trip over when trying to perform at their best. Always wanting to perform at perfect standards can cause problems if it’s not addressed and managed. We want to create an environment in which we push for our best performances, aim for a high level/standard, but have a heavy level of perspective whilst doing it. So if we have a bad day at work or at the session, we can quickly turn ourselves back around and get back to it.

Taking off the pressure

One of the most effective ways to take the pressure off yourself is to simmer the amount of focus on yourself. This is a little paradoxical, but the best way to do it is to focus on your main mission. Some performers, instead of focusing so much on themselves, switch their focus to entertain the crowd; giving them a great evening or offering a product or performance that can impact their lives. This can be especially helpful for entrepreneurs. When they focus on their overall mission, it can help keep them on track when the challenges come. It helps to alleviate the pressure THEY PUT ON THEMSELVES!

So let’s take a look at ten techniques that you can apply in any pressurised situation:

  • Visualisation – visualisation plays a huge part for many athletes and performers. Simply put, it’s the ability to visualise the desired outcome you would like by mentally running through your performance, bit by bit. This is a great technique for many golfers, basketball players, musicians etc – they clearly visualise the outcome they would like. A study by Edmund Jacobson proved how effective visualisation truly is with a set of basketball players. Check it out! http://www.llewellyn.com/encyclopedia/article/244
  • Movement – your physical body (the way you position your body). Resetting your posture under pressure can massively affect your performance. Take Cristiano Ronaldo’s body positioning when he steps up to take a free kick. With Ronaldo being a ‘J’ shape kicker (direction of the kick) he inputs greater power into the ball in the direction of the kick. His upright posture gives him a ‘power’ stance that can also add huge mental benefits. Social psychologist Amy Cuddy has done some phenomenal work on body language and how it effects our testosterone and cortisol levels in the brain. Fascinating! http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are
  • Meditation – in any pressurised situation, being able to regulate your thoughts and emotions is huge. Meditation can be a great tool to keep your emotions and impulses at bay in performance. Restful alertness is the key here: with training we become more and more aware of our thoughts and emotions. Therefore, we can respond more effectively in high performance.
  • Language – reframing the situation – a healthy way to increase your performance is the way you shape the situation. Many performers still feel nerves before aperformance, but it’s how they manage and use it to their advantage that is the key. Mike Tyson before many of his boxing fights would be extremely nervous, but his coach would say: “The hero and the coward both feel the same thing, but the hero uses his fear, projects it onto his opponent, while the coward runs. It’s the same thing, fear, but it’s what you do with it that matters”.
  • ‘There are many opportunities’ – think about how many times you have to get it right. The band Coldplay got turned down by over 20 record companies but they kept going. You will have other opportunities if you put yourself out there and keep on being proactive. The irony is you feel less pressure knowing there will be other opportunities.

These are five of many strategies you can begin to develop in your arena. Start with one and see how it can help with your development and training.

Step into your greatness today!

Bio:
Musician, teacher and life coach, Daniel Rutter is on a mission to help people find their own greatness across the globe. Whether its increasing performance, having better relationships, finding your purpose in life or finding the happiness you want, Danny has developed the tools needed to help each individual awaken their own greatness.
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