3 Ways to Become a Super Person

I was driving down the freeway the other day when I saw a billboard with a picture of Christopher Reeve on it. The caption simply read, “Super man.” People might have remembered him for his timeless portrayal of Superman. But they will never forget his tireless crusade on behalf of disabled everywhere. The tragic horse-riding accident that left him paralyzed also gave him wings to soar above his physical limitations. That’s not to say that it wasn’t difficult for him. He even contemplated suicide at one point. So it made me think, what characteristics did he have that made him so strong?

Courage. Most of us shy away from a challenge. Maybe we don’t like confrontation, or maybe we just want to take the path of least resistance. But there comes a time when we, individually, must face our deepest fears. It could be accepting a job that moves you half way across the country. Or walking out on a relationship that should have ended ten years ago. Whatever is keeping you from enjoying your life needs to be examined, evaluated, and executed. No one’s going to do it for you. Be brave.

Optimism. Ever hear the old glass half full/half empty analogy? Well, it’s true. You have a 50/50 chance of being positive or negative. Which side do you find yourself on most of the time? Negative thinking can be a very hard habit to break. But the good thing is, it is easily remedied. How? Speak positively. Act positively. Replace negative self-talk with uplifting messages that you tape to your mirror and day planner. And before you know it, you will think positively. Action precedes attitude. A good attitude is contagious, so surround your self with people who are upbeat and encouraging.

Self-determination. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? A person without a goal is like a bus without a driver. Don’t let limitations, either real or perceived, keep you from your objective. And don’t listen to the nay Sayers, even if at times you think they must be right. If something is important to you, stick with it. You will be amazed at what you can do.

There is a bit of a superhero in all of us. Sometimes, it takes an unexpected event to bring that hero out. And sometimes, we can help someone else see that hero in themselves.

Are You Focusing On What You Really Want?

Imagine you’re happily driving down a country road on a clear, sunny day. Suddenly a semi truck crosses the center line and is heading right at you. Heart pounding and adrenaline rushing, you react. Will you avert disaster? Maybe. Maybe not. In this moment, your life depends on where you focus.

Professional driving instructors tell us that what people usually do in emergency situations is to stay focused on the object they are trying to avoid. In driving, where your eyes and mind are focused is most often where you will steer.

Unfortunately, if you were focused on the truck in the situation above you would likely steer right into it. The route to safety is to focus on where you want to go. In this case, you’d look away from the truck to a place that’s safer. You would then automatically steer the car in that direction. Safe!

You may be wondering, “What the heck does that have to do with creating more pleasure, passion, and purpose in my life?”

My response is “A great deal!” As in the example of the truck, your life depends on where you focus.

Focusing on What You Don’t Want Steers You to More of That

Often when we are feeling stuck, dissatisfied, confused, or unhappy we are focused on what we DON’T want. We are looking at the truck we’d like to avoid.

We’re thinking or saying “I don’t want to be in this miserable job another day” or “I don’t want to work on this project” or “I don’t want to have pizza for dinner tonight.”

From the big events to the small details in life, we tend to put a lot of our thoughts and attention on precisely what we don’t want.

So, what’s the problem with that? Well, it’s kind of like steering your car into the truck. The more you focus on what you don’t want, the more you head in that direction.

Your mind is wired to create whatever you focus on.

Napoleon Hill’s “Think and Grow Rich” and Maxwell Maltz’s “Psychocybernetics” are two classic books on this subject. These and other researchers tell us that the mind can’t tell the difference between something you’re thinking about that you want and something you’re thinking about that you do not want.

Whatever you think about, your mind goes to work to make that happen.

Getting More of What You Really Do Want

If you’d like to get more of what you want in life (pleasure, passion, purpose), shift your focus away from what you don’t want and clearly, purposefully towards what you do want.

Your mind will go to work creating that. You’ll get unstuck. Your energy will increase. Solutions, alternatives, and options will come to you more easily.

Here’s a recent personal example. At the end of a long day, I was getting ready to prepare dinner. I’d been grocery shopping and had the ingredients for three complex dishes I hadn’t made before.

Hungry and tired, I reviewed the recipes but quickly became frustrated and overwhelmed. I started saying to myself “I don’t want to make these dishes. I don’t want this to be so hard. I don’t want these recipes to be so complicated.”

Those thoughts increased my agitation. I felt stuck and upset. Then I took a deep breath. I asked myself, “What do I really want in this situation right now?” (Besides a personal chef!)

The answer was “I want to make a healthy and great tasting dinner in a way that is fast and easy for me.”

I quickly saw a solution I’d been unable to see minutes before: make only one of the new dishes that night along with a simple salad and save the other new recipes for another evening.

So that’s what I did. The cooking was less stressful and the food turned out great. I switched from what I didn’t want to what I did want. And it worked!

Are you focused on what you want or what you don’t want?

I know many (maybe most) of us have an ingrained habit pattern that focuses us on what we don’t want. Changing this pattern can be challenging. And I’ve seen with myself and my clients that it’s definitely worth doing!

In Your Life

The more you focus on what you do want, the more pleasure, passion, and purpose you will create in your life. Focus on the clear road ahead, not on the truck coming at you. Try experimenting with this.

1) When you’re feeling stuck, stressed, worried, angry, unhappy, or upset, become aware of what you’re focusing on. You may be focusing on exactly what you don’t want.

2) As soon as you notice you’re focusing on what you DON’T want, ask yourself, “What DO I want in this situation?”

3) Purposefully and intentionally, change your focus to and keep your focus on what you do want.

4) Repeat as needed.

Enjoy!

“Relaxing with a Mental PDA” Your 5 minutes daily program to Stress management

We all have this favorite expression when it comes to being stressed out, and I wouldn’t bother naming all of them since it may also vary in different languages. But when it comes down to it, I think that it is how we work or even relax, for that matter that triggers stress. Ever been stressed even when you’re well relaxed and bored? I know I have.

Since Error! Hyperlink reference not valid. is unavoidable in life, it is important to find ways to decrease and prevent stressful incidents and decrease negative reactions to stress. Here are some of the things that can be done by just remembering it, since life is basically a routine to follow like brushing your teeth or eating breakfast. You can do a few of them in a longer span of time, but as they say– every minute counts.

Managing time

Time management skills can allow you more time with your family and friends and possibly increase your performance and productivity. This will help reduce your stress.

To improve your time management:

· Save time by focusing and concentrating, delegating, and scheduling time for yourself.
· Keep a record of how you spend your time, including work, family, and leisure time.
· Prioritize your time by rating tasks by importance and urgency. Redirect your time to those activities that are important and meaningful to you.
· Manage your commitments by not over- or undercommitting. Don’t commit to what is not important to you.
· Deal with procrastination by using a day planner, breaking large projects into smaller ones, and setting short-term deadlines.
· Examine your beliefs to reduce conflict between what you believe and what your life is like.
Build healthy coping strategies

It is important that you identify your coping strategies. One way to do this is by recording the stressful event, your reaction, and how you cope in a stress journal. With this information, you can work to change unhealthy coping strategies into healthy ones-those that help you focus on the positive and what you can change or control in your life.

Lifestyle

Some behaviors and lifestyle choices affect your stress level. They may not cause stress directly, but they can interfere with the ways your body seeks relief from stress. Try to:

· Balance personal, work, and family needs and obligations.
· Have a sense of purpose in life.
· Get enough sleep, since your body recovers from the stresses of the day while you are sleeping.
· Eat a balanced diet for a nutritional defense against stress.
· Get moderate exercise throughout the week.
· Limit your consumption of alcohol.
· Don’t smoke.

Social support

Social support is a major factor in how we experience stress. Social support is the positive support you receive from family, friends, and the community. It is the knowledge that you are cared for, loved, esteemed, and valued. More and more research indicates a strong relationship between social support and better mental and physical health.

Changing thinking

When an event triggers negative thoughts, you may experience fear, insecurity, anxiety, depression, rage, guilt, and a sense of worthlessness or powerlessness. These emotions trigger the body’s stress, just as an actual threat does. Dealing with your negative thoughts and how you see things can help reduce stress.

· Thought-stopping helps you stop a negative thought to help eliminate stress.
· Disproving irrational thoughts helps you to avoid exaggerating the negative thought, anticipating the worst, and interpreting an event incorrectly.
· Problem solving helps you identify all aspects of a stressful event and find ways to deal with it.
· Changing your communication style helps you communicate in a way that makes your views known without making others feel put down, hostile, or intimidated. This reduces the stress that comes from poor communication. Use the assertiveness ladder to improve your communication style.

Even writers like me can get stressed even though we’re just using our hands to do the talking, but having to sit for 7 or 8 hours is already stressful enough and have our own way to relieve stress. Whether you’re the mail guy, the CEO, or probably the average working parent, stress is one unwanted visitor you would love to boot out of your homes, especially your life.